dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
