I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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