The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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