I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
