We named our party play list daddy issues
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
