I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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