white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize