how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
