Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
