do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
