people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
