Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
