I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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