SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if only i could text you this smell
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
