I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
