How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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