Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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