it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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