I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
