You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
