when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm at about main and main street
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
