UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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