Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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