This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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