I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize