He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
