butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
