She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
