I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
