addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
