It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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