Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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