Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
