they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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