who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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