At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
