I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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