Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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