yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
