Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
