i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
