this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
