I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
