so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
