there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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