its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
