New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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