I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
