im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The adults are the big ones right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
