just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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