his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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