Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
someone owes me an orgasm
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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