are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
