What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
