I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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