how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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