i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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