YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
