u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
