Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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