The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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