i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You are a genius and a whore.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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