So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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