wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
