I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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