Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
