PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
