At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
