Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
