my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
