Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
