i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
