he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize