I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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