i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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