Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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