cat food counts as protein by the way
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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